absolution
by esmeaplatt
Summary: Esme absolves Carlisle's guilt for changing her without her consent.


**absolution**

* * *

Esme leaned against the doorway as she watched him work. He was bent over his desk, scribbling away at some paperwork.

She smiled softly. The last few months had been difficult for them- Edward's abrupt departure had driven a wedge between them. They missed him terribly, the grief of losing their son consumed them. It took them weeks to find their way back to each other. It took a lot of discussion, it took understanding but they eventually worked through it. In fact, they were doing better than ever. They were closer than ever before.

"Love?" Esme murmured.

Carlisle looked up, setting his pen aside. "Hm?"

"Come to bed?" She asked, holding her hand out for him as she approached the desk.

Carlisle nodded and stood up from his desk. He took his wife's hand and let her lead him up to their bedroom. She closed the door behind them before walking over to her dresser and pulling out a nightgown.

He watched her change, smiling when she met his eyes in the mirror. He changed into his pajamas as well, sitting down on the bed while she brushed out her hair.

His head rested back against the headboard as he watched her set the brush aside and then turned to crawl into bed. She grinned at him as she made her way up toward him to slide under the covers to sit beside him against their headboard.

"I missed you today." Esme said, taking his hand in both of hers.

Carlisle sighed softly, nodding as he thought back on his very long day of work at the hospital followed by the hours spent filling out paperwork at home. He lifted their hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of one of hers. "I missed you too, my love. More than you could imagine."

She sighed in contentment, shifting closer and lifting her leg over his lap to cuddle against his side.

Carlisle wrapped his arm around her shoulders and buried his nose against her hair. His eyes slid closed as he breathed in her calming scent.

They were quiet for a while. For how long neither of them were quite sure. Sleep would never come to them so hours spent in each other's arms were not out of the ordinary.

"I'm so sorry, Esme." Carlisle whispered against her hair.

She lifted her head to look at him, her brow furrowed in confusion. "For what?"

"Edward left because of me."

"Carlisle, we-"

"I know we've discussed it. I know he left for numerous different reason but they all really stem from the fact that I changed him. I forced him into this life without his consent."

She shook her head, the hand resting on his chest moving back and forth.

"I did the same thing to you." Carlisle said, his voice dripping with guilt.

"Oh, honey." Esme murmured, shaking her head again as she pressed a kiss to his shoulder. "I'm so glad that you found me that day. I'm so happy with this life."

"It was wrong. You couldn't give your consent, Esme. I'm…I'm no better than all of the other people in your life that have-"

"Stop it." She interrupted, her voice firm. She pulled back from him and moved her leg from over him to kneel at his side. "Look at me."

Carlisle met her eyes.

"You saved me, Carlisle. If I had been able to, I would have said yes."

He looked as though he didn't believe her, reaching a hesitant hand out to rest on her side.

"I would have. I love this life that you've given me. I love being a vampire." She reached out to cradle his cheek. "You're a good man. You saw a dying woman and you saved her life."

"I damned you this life without asking."

"And I forgive you." She said. "Is that what you need to hear? I forgive you for biting me, for saving my life, making me happier than I've ever been."

"Esme…"

"I mean it. You are one hundred percent forgiven."

She lifted her other hand to his cheek, cradling his face in her hands and she leaned forward to kiss at the corner of his mouth, at the frown on his lips.

As she wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly, she felt his arms around her waist. He pulled her closer, turning his head to bury his nose in her hair once again.


End file.
